Self Care: Why Is It Important and Who Wants More? 

Making the decision to have a child–it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  –Anonymous

My husband and I have been married almost six years and we have been parents for five of those years… it feels surreal to think that I am going to have a 5-year old this year. 

My Yona is .. she is unique and so beautiful, and spunky and sweet and cheeky and fun and creative and smart… her list goes on, and I am so lucky to be her mama.  And my sweet boy Ezra… what a gift.  He is the sweetest thing, very strong, very growly-noise making, very boy, but also very affectionate, very tender-hearted.  He is sensitive, and he is so, so smart.  I can’t get over him most days.  I just want to wrap him up like a burrito and eat him! 

The Emotional Weight of Parenting

They are awesome. But I am tired. My body is tired. My heart gets tired…it feels like a lot—like  too much—often.  I’m sure this is true for most parents. Or all parents. My heart aches for all of the parents who feel alone in it—whether as a single parent, or just carrying the majority of the load of caring for the kids. It is a physical weight for sure, but there is an emotional weight that if left undealt with, can begin to turn us in a downward direction. We can even begin to struggle with feelings of hopelessness, depression or burnout. 

Parenting is serving, giving, doing, pouring out. We lay down our lives every day, laying aside what we might rather be doing for what needs to be done. This is true for stay-at-home moms or dads, homeschooling parents, parents with kids in school, working parents, married or single parents.

We Work Hard

We all do it. We work hard all day long, and then we work hard some more in the evening with getting dinner and homework and dishes done, and then we work hard getting kids through bedtime routines, and after that, we may or may not have an hour to ourselves, and then we drop into bed. Sleep, wake, repeat. 

Making Self Care A Priority

Since this goes on for years… we can’t want for the season to end before doing something about it. Maybe we don’t have the option of taking a vacation from our life, but most of us can find a way to make some time for self care.  Self care looks different for everyone. It doesn’t have to be a pedicure or a massage. Making self care a priority means we are doing something that feeds our soul and brings us life.

What Brings us Life?

We love our kids—our kids bring us joy! But what brings us LIFE? What are the things that pour hope and energy and grace back into us and give us courage to press on, when we feel like we have nothing left to give?

For me in this season, some things I consider self care, things that bring me LIFE ,are time alone, writing, reading good books, and gardening. Without taking at least a few hours of time away each week to do what brings me LIFE, I reach ‘frazzled’ fast. Like I’m done. Like the grace is all gone. And once that happens, everything past that point feels like frustration. And frustration is not fair to my kids. So we know what we have to do, right? 

Some Questions for Reflection

1.  What kinds of things bring me LIFE? 

2.  What is it that I love about these things? 

3.  Is there anything preventing me from taking time for LIFE-giving things?

4.  If so, are they external or logistical obstacles? (These might require creative solutions!) 

5.  Are there any internal obstacles preventing me from taking time for myself? (Some examples might be feeling guilty, or struggling to ask for help.)

How Do You Practice Self Care?

I would love to hear about what brings you LIFE!