Something Beautiful is Forged in Our Disappointment

LoveLetter May 2021

Hello Friends,

Happy spring! The spring weather is pert-near-perfect here in sunny central Florida. I don’t remember May ever being this cool in the mornings and evenings, but I’ll take it. I think we’ve just had a few really long, hot summers here the last several years and that is what sticks in my memory. But these gorgeous mornings are amazing—I don’t want them to end! I know they will… but a girl can dream.

Speaking of mornings, we now have four new faces to behold each morning. Avian faces to be specific. Chickens! Yes, we adopted four baby chicks about a month ago, and we have had lots of opportunity to experience and reflect on the ebb and flow (pros and cons) of pet-ownership—something I haven’t participated in for at least a couple of decades.

My Chickens are My Therapy

Anyway, here we are with four teenage-looking chickens, and I have to say, taking care of chickens is really grounding—if you need that. Very helpful. I have needed that desperately to be really honest.

Where I usually thrive on words—words in my head, words on the page,  on a screen, words coming through my fingertips… I got really burned out, and have literally had no heart to write almost anything. My previous newsletter is about the only thing I’ve written in the last 2 months. Which is ok—like most things in life, there is an ebb and flow to it, and I’m in the ebb. But I feel like I may be sensing some movement toward the flow.

Either way, watching the chickens peck at the dirt has been a great source of earthy, lost-in-thought/not-thinking-at-all time. Watching them gives me permission to just BE. I didn’t know how necessary that would be for me these last couple months. So, great for me, but also a wonderful experience for the kids–Yona is a natural little mama to them!

Word of Encouragement

Disappointment

The word that I hear as I pray is disappointment. When hopes are deferred, disappointment can stay hidden beneath the surface. The past month has been like this for me—I had been going through my days, feeling all kinds of things— tired, numb, irritable, impatient, on-edge, down, unmotivated, overwhelmed… it had been a busy few weeks, so I didn’t have much time to think about it.

I knew something was up, but I didn’t really know what it was… But when I took some time to process, I figured out that I have actually been facing some big disappointments. Disappointed longings, really.

Disappointed Longings

I have had to acknowledge and grieve the disappointed longings. Some longings we have held in our hearts for a lifetime. Having our longings disappointed over and over can be incredibly discouraging. The wait feels much too long. But what I am encouraged by is that in that long wait, God does His deepest work within us.

Galatians 5:22

But the fruit produced by the Holy Spirit within you is divine love in all its varied expressions:

joy that overflows,

peace that subdues,

patience that endures,

kindness in action,

a life full of virtue,

faith that prevails,

gentleness of heart, and 

strength of spirit.

Galatians 5:22 TPT

He is always doing something good, but He is especially producing the fruit of His divine love within me in the most difficult times and seasons.

Look for the Open Doors

Some of my disappointment has been as a result of closed doors. I felt like the Holy Spirit was nudging me to take a look around me and see what doors were actually open. Doing this shifted my perspective. Doing this also pulled me back to Present. I struggle with staying present, so this was good for me. When doors are closed, look for the doors that are open—they are often very close by. 

He is Working on the Inside

He may not be focused on the external change in my circumstances right now because of that work He is doing inside of me. He is producing joy–in the face of adversity. He is producing peace–even in the midst of chaos or difficulty. He is producing patience–persevering and unswerving.

He is producing kindness–that absolutely requires peace and patience, and tangibly offers His love. He is producing depth of character that cannot come any other way. He is producing faith that cannot be shaken and will carry us into eternity.

He is producing a beautiful inward gentleness–forged in the fires of humility. He is producing strength of spirit–so that our spirit-man will be the strongest voice we hear, keeping us fixed on the unseen realm.  

The Diamond is the Change

In God’s kingdom, the prize—the diamond— is not that thing I have been hoping for. The diamond is the change God is working within me as I wait for that thing. God will fulfill our deepest longings—that is His good way—in His good time. But the diamond God is forming is the deposit of His divine love within me—in all its varied expressions.

Prayer Requests

Please send me an email if there is anything I can pray about with you. If you want to pray for me this month, when you think of me please pray for a supernatural measure of peace, clarity and direction with some decisions we are making, and for grace–lots of it every day.

Heart Matters

Here are some reflection questions for this month: 

1. Set aside some time this week to check in with your heart. As you have been going through your days, do you feel like you are in a healthy, encouraged, energetic flow? or are you feeling ‘off’ or down, or like you are struggling?

2. Are there any situations or circumstances that have caused you to experience disappointment or disappointed longings? Talk to God about it, or write about it in your journal.

3. If you have experienced closed doors recently, can you think of some open doors you haven’t considered? How could you take steps toward pursuing those open doors?

Paul’s Prayer

I’m going to leave you with this rich prayer Paul wrote. I hope you will read it slowly, take it in, and fully receive it!

Ephesians 1:17-20

I pray that the Father of glory, the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, would impart to you the riches of the Spirit of wisdom and the Spirit of revelation to know him through your deepening intimacy with him. I pray that the light of God will illuminate the eyes of your imagination, flooding you with light, until you experience the full revelation of the hope of his calling—that is, the wealth of God’s glorious inheritances that He finds in us, his holy ones! I pray that you will continually experience the immeasurable greatness of God’s power made available to you through faith. Then your lives will be an advertisement of this immense power as it works through you! This is the mighty power that was released when God raised Christ from the dead, and exalted him to the place of highest honor and supreme authority in the heavenly realm! (Ephesians 1:17-20 TPT).

Love,

Chalis